Without You
by MizukoMidori
Summary: Anya goes away after Xander left her at the wedding. Anya POV part of ut


Without You! By Rachel  
  
Heart broken. He left me heart broken. How could he do such a thing? I thought he loved me. I guess I was wrong. I guess he realized he wouldn't be happy with me. And what a day to realize it. We were going to be married. Eternally bonded.  
  
And he left. Left me there, heart broken and having to deal with the resulting mess. I feel the tears prick at my eyes. More tears. Don't they ever stop? Is there a point where you can run out of tears? I might have thought so before. Now I know there can never be enough tears for what happened. They will never run out.  
  
The woman next to me gave me a sympathetic look, I would've snapped her neck if I wasn't so upset. I hate it when people feel sympathy toward me.  
  
The bus pulls to a stop in L.A. and I gather my stuff. I look back in the direction I came from. The wind bows about me as I stand there at the abandoned bus station. It's like a scene from one of those old sappy romantic movies.  
  
"goodbye Xander." I whisper, before turning my back on Sunnydale and it's people forever.  
  
I find a hotel a couple miles away and pay for a room. It's a shoddy place, but I don't care. I don't notice anything like that anymore. I let out a small laugh.  
  
I used to care what people would think of me, and how I looked. None of that mattered now. Xander never cared how I looked. Never loved me because of them. He loved me because of me, or so I thought. That was what he always told me.  
  
Maybe I was Wrong. Right now I probably look like the vengeance demon I once was, I am again. It's funny, I gave up that life in a second because of Xander. I mean really it was because Giles smashed my pendant, but I worked so hard to get it restored. I gave that up though to be with Xander. He brought out the human in me. He loved me and showed me what it was like to be loved. A wonderful feeling until it's ripped to pieces.  
  
Then we got engaged and I was sure we would be tigether forever. I mean we didn't fight at all, not with each other, and we did talk, so it wasn't like we weren't communicating, there was absolutely no sign of him not wanting to be with me. So there was the problem with family, but tat wasn't us. His was dysfunctional drunks and mine were demons.  
  
I've thought about killing myself. Ending this never-ending torture from hell, ending the millions of daggers that stab at my heart every of every day of my life. No, even if he didn't love he still liked me. I was his friend. And he would be so devastated to find my body.  
  
Wouldn't it serve him right? Part of me argues that time and time again. It would, but unfortunately I still love him so much I can't bear the look on his face or the realization that it was his fault. I want him to be happy, even if it's not with me.  
  
Going back would not happen though. I can't face the place, the people, and especially him. I might call in a few months, maybe, let someone know where I am. I wonder who'll run the Magic Box now. Probably Tara or Willow. I wonder if they found him yet, or if like me he just left and disappeared.  
  
The scooby gang down three, if he did. Four if Tara ever left. Well then it would just be Willow and Buffy, maybe Dawn.  
  
I switched on the TV and watched some sappy romance movie and cried myself to sleep. I wasn't out of tears yet.  
  
Xander I will never forget you.  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
3 weeks Later..........  
  
Anya straightened her dark red McDonalds shirt and waited boredly for the next customer. A shadow fell upon her and automatically she said,  
  
"Welcome to McDonalds, what can I do for you?"  
  
"Well first of all you could tell me why your working in a restaurant, and why everyone seems to run to L.A.?"  
  
She looked up at the familiar british accent.  
  
"Spike?!"  
  
"The one and only."  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"Your boyfriend set up a search. Sent us all to different places looking for you. Paired us up also. He's out in the car would you like me to fetch him?"  
  
Anya blinked. She couldn't quite comprehend what he was saying. All she understood was Xander was in L.A. right outside the very place she worked.  
  
"Anya your holding up the line." She snapped out of her reverie, but ignored her co-worker. "You guys actually thought to check fast food places?"  
  
"No, the Whelp was hungry so we stopped to get food. Speaking of food, I'll have."  
  
"No need. Xander always orders a bigmac, fries, and a sprite because caffeine makes him jumpy and his more unfunny jokes become more frequent, and a bag of Doritos." She rung all this up on the register and then without looking said, "Your total is $5.45. Please take a seat until your number is called." She handed him the receipt, which had the number on it, and the vampire sat down.  
  
She asked to switch places with her co-worker, so she could make the food. Luckily, just as she had vanished from site, Xander walked in.  
  
"What's taking so long?" he demanded of Spike.  
  
"I flirted with the counter girl. Is tat a problem?"  
  
Xander just sighed and sat down next to him. Anya finished preparing the food, called out the number, and turned around before anyone could catch a glimpse of her. Spike picked up the food and took it to the table.  
  
For eves-dropping purposes, she busied herself at the condiment counter, refilling the ketchup.  
  
"I just don't get where she could be. We've looked all over Sunnydale and six other towns between us TWO and still haven't found her. I talked to Buffy and Willow and they haven't found her. Neither has Tara and Dawn."  
  
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure she'll turn." Spike told him.  
  
But Xander was ranting, "I didn't mean to leave her at the alter. I just got scared. I wasn't thinking clearly. I miss her so much. She probably thinks I don't love anymore, but she's wrong. I just hope we find her. Wow! This is good. People usually forget to put on the extra stuff I ask for."  
  
"Must be you lucky day."  
  
"Spike! My fiancée is missing, this is not my lucky day."  
  
"Anya what ARE you doing!" her boss yelled across the restaurant.  
  
Everyone turned and looked at her.  
  
"Nobody," muttered Spike under his breath.  
  
Anya glared at him before answering, "I was uh, refilling the ketchup dispenser." "Was it empty?"  
  
"Well no. I just thought."  
  
"Get back to work!"  
  
Now that the little spat was done everyone went back to what they were doing. Everyone except Anya and Xander. They just stood there staring at each other.  
  
"For Christ's Sake! Xander this is Anya, Anya this is Xander. Would you bloody hug and kiss and make up already?!"  
  
They both turned to the British vampire and yelled, "Spike, shut up!" He blinked and shut up.  
  
Xander stood up and went over to Anya, "An we need to talk."  
  
"Xander, I'm worki." He put a finger to her lips, shushing her.  
  
"This can't wait. Anya I didn't mean to leave you at the wedding and not get married. I got scared and chickened out. I really do love you with all my heart and my head, which isn't much in the head I guess," he laughed at his own stupid joke and she smiled, "But I love you for all I'm worth. I would die for you. So forgive me and come back? Please?"  
  
Anya cried again, that never-ending flow of tears. Only this time they were tears of pure joy, happiness, and love.  
  
"Of couse, Xander! Of course!"  
  
She threw her arms around him and gave him a passionate kiss. The restaurant burst into applause.  
  
"I don't think I can take anymore of this," said Spike walking out.  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: To let you all know this was written before I saw Hells Bells. So it's kinda A/U. And the ends all sappy and crappy and all. Damn that rhymes. Anyway tell me what you think. What ever you think. You could hate and I wanna hear about it. I thrive on feeback and it keeps my muse awake. ~Rachel 


End file.
